


Being Ghosted

by Phantoms_Echo



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Character Death, Comedy, Continuation from Oneshot, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Ghost!Shinichi, Ghosts, Hattori is just so done with this, Kaito makes an appearance, M/M, Normal!Everyone else, Now with 100-percent more content!, Shinichi is a ghost so he's not really dead, Shinichi is in lurv, Shinichi refuses to believe in impossible things, Supernatural Elements, for now, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29869602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantoms_Echo/pseuds/Phantoms_Echo
Summary: (Continuation of Next Conan Hint chapter 46)“Kudou. I am staging an intervention.”“… Because?”“Because it has come to my attention.” Hattori took a slow, steadying breath. “That you are dead.”(Title may change in the next few days.)
Relationships: Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Comments: 8
Kudos: 114





	1. Don't have a leg to stand on

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito, only the idea for this fic.
> 
> So, I got an invite to a DCMK discord server and one of the conversations kind of kicked off an idea.
> 
> So lucky you guys, you get two updates this weekend. Enjoy! ;)

“Kudou, I don’t know how to say this, but…” Hattori folded his hands together across the table from him. “This is an intervention.”

Shinichi paused at that and frowned. He set his iced coffee onto the table. “An intervention of what? Homicide cases? Hattori, you know I can’t just _not_ investigate when a dead body falls in front of me. It’s like asking a fish not to swim.”

“There are, actually, fish that don’t swim,” Hattori said. “But you’re missing my point—!”

“Name one.” Shinichi ordered.

“… What?”

“You said there are fish that don’t swim.” Shinichi rested his chin in his hand. “Name one.”

“… Jelly fish.”

“Hattori, that’s not actually a fish.”

“Sure it is! It’s got ‘fish’ in its name!”

“Is that how you classify fish? Then what’s a salmon—?”

“It’s beside the point! You’re getting me off topic!” Hattori hissed, face turning red. “Kudou. I am staging an intervention.”

“… Because?”

“Because it has come to my attention.” Hattori took a slow, steadying breath. “That you are dead.”

Shinichi… blinked. He looked at Hattori. He looked at the iced coffee he had placed on the table, one he had just bought from the barista. He looked at his coat, solidly on his body after donning it that morning.

He looked back to Hattori and narrowed his eyes. “Did Ran put you up to this?”

“Wha—? No!” Hattori shook his head. “Kudou, I’m being serious here!”

“I find that hard to believe.” Shinichi said. “Given that I am, indeed, alive.”

Hattori scowled. “Kudou, you’re translucent. I can see through your hands.”

Shinichi looked down at the hand wrapped around his iced coffee. He picked up the cup and watched as it _didn’t_ fall through his (admittedly very pale) skin. “Trick of the light.”

“You haven’t slept in the last three days!” Hattori continued.

“Hattori, _please_ ,” Shinichi scoffed. “We both know I can last longer than that.”

Hattori glowered at him, then raised an eyebrow. “That sip of coffee you just drank went right through you and ended up on the back of your jacket.”

Shinichi leaned back and ignored the way his coat squished. “I just spilled it. It happens.”

A lot. Increasingly more lately.

“Kudou.” Hattori fixed him with a deadpanned stare. “You don’t have feet.”

Shinichi blinked and looked down to check. Huh.

“I thought I just needed to get glasses,” Shinichi mused.

Hattori stared for a long moment, then buried his face in his hands. “The guy _dies and becomes a ghost_ and just thinks he needs _glasses_.”

“In my defense,” Shinichi protested. “Ghosts aren’t real.”

“Well, obviously they _are_ if you’re here and talking to me.” Hattori sighed and dragged himself upright. He put a hand on Shinichi’s, only for it to pass through. “Can’t get any more evidence than this.”

“But…” Shinichi frowned. “I can pick stuff up. I can wear new clothes.”

“So you’re a poltergeist.” Hattori gave a shrug and leaned back.

“Poltergeist?”

“Type of ghost that can move objects,” Hattori explained. “There are different types of ghosts you know. They aren’t all the same. Just like there’s different types of dogs and cats.”

Ah, that made sense… wait. “Did you just compare me to a pet?”

“What I want to know is,” Hattori started loudly. “What finally killed you?”

“Huh?” Shinichi blinked at that.

“You survived the Apotoxin, the Black Organization, multiple kidnappings, getting thrown out of an airship and getting _literally shot_. I’m gonna be honest, I had a running theory that you were just immortal, on the sheer bias that you hadn’t died yet.” Hattori pressed his hands flat to the table. “So I’m _really curious_ what killed you.”

“I…” Shinichi paused. “I don’t remember.”

“… I’m sorry, what?” Hattori dropped his chin to his chest, eyes pinning Shinichi in place. “You don’t… what?”

“I don’t remember,” Shinichi said again. “I don’t even remember when it happened.”

“You don’t…” Hattori buried his face in his hands again. “He doesn’t remember. He _died and became a ghost_ , and _doesn’t remember_!”

“I mean, it was probably within the last three days, right?” Shinichi asked. “That’s how long you said I’ve gone without sleep.”

Hattori fell still before drawing himself up. “That’s right. It’s within the last three days. Probably. Do you remember when you last slept before?”

“Um…” Shinichi scratched his head. “I think I remember waking up on the side of the road, but it’s all kind of blurry? I was trying to get somewhere, then it was black, then I woke up and realized that I had missed something. A lecture? Or maybe a test? I figured I could just go back and reschedule or ask for notes, once I remembered what it was I was trying to get to.”

“And you just… never remembered?”

Shinichi shook his head.

Hattori let out a long sigh before standing and sliding his jacket on. “Okay, at least we have a time frame. Do you remember what road you woke up on?”

“No.” Shinichi thought for a second. “But I think there might have been someone else there. Sleeping next to me?”

Hattori froze. “… You mean, like, another body?”

“Yeah.” Shinichi ‘drank’ the last of his iced coffee and threw the cup away. “Although, now that I think about it, the person was wearing the same clothes as me that day. I thought it was just a coincidence at the time.”

Hattori stared for a long moment, then face-palmed. “… yeah, I’m starting to realize why the dead don’t usually talk.”

“Oh?”

“You are the most _unhelpful_ witness I’ve ever seen. And you were the one _murdered!_ ” Hattori dragged a hand down his face. “Okay, first off, we need to track down what road that was. Also see if the morgue got any Yamada Tarous in.”

“Don’t you think they would have recognized me? Or, rather, my body?” Shinichi wondered aloud. “Since I’ve helped them solve so many murders already?”

“Probably,” Hattori mused. “If you didn’t already have one person running around with your face out there. And if you didn’t show up at their next investigation looking entirely at the peak of health.”

“Oh, right.” Shinichi hummed in thought as he followed Hattori out the door.

“How’d it go?” asked a familiar voice. Outside, Kuroba Kaito was waiting for Hattori and, apparently, Shinichi. “Oh, so he believed you?”

“Yeah,” Hattori groused. “I had to make a list of all the impossible things he was doing, but…”

“ _When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth_ ,” Shinichi quoted, then he blinked at Kuroba. “You’re hot. Hattori, have you ever noticed how hot Kuroba is?”

Hattori startled at Shinichi’s sudden realization, but Kuroba didn’t seem to mind. He laughed it off. “I think I’m just as hot as I ever was, which is to say _ungodly handsome_. I think what changed is you, Kudou.”

Shinichi frowned at that. “Me?”

“Magical and supernatural things tend to like me.” Kuroba gave a shrug. “I think that, because you’re a ghost now, you have a new-found appreciation for everything ‘Kuroba Kaito’.”

Shinichi had it on good authority (and many late night rants with Ran, Sonoko and the girls) that his crush on Kuroba had definitely started long before the whole ‘ghost’ thing, but he did have to admit, being dead had its perks.

Like, after literally dying, what could a rejection do to him? Absolutely nothing.

“You want to go on a date? I want to go on a date with you,” Shinichi said, instead of relaying all this to Kuroba. Hattori choked on air as Kuroba gave a nervous but flattered smile.

“I… I mean—?”

“No!” Hattori physically pushed between them. Well, he pushed Kuroba back. Shinichi just kind of when through him. He did upend Shinichi’s jacket though, causing it to drop to the ground. That was sad. “We don’t have time for dates! We are looking for Kudou’s _corpse_ , something that is only going to decay _more_ the longer it takes to find him!”

“I mean… we could do both?” Shinichi looked over to Kuroba. “Could looking for a missing body be considered a date?”

“Uh…” Kuroba’s smile was more nervous than flattered now. “I… wouldn’t call it very romantic.”

Hattori would have thought it was romantic. Then again, Hattori (and Shinichi) had a bit of a skewed view of the world. Which was why Shinichi had asked Kuroba in the first place.

“Fair enough.” Shinichi nodded and picked his coat up from the sidewalk to don it again. “Afterwards though?”

“Sure!” Kuroba gave a light shrug. “Give me a call, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Kudou! Enough dragging your feet, let’s _go_!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Shinichi rolled his eyes and followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, dying might have been the best thing that happened to Shinichi.
> 
> Chasing down criminals was a lot easier if he didn’t have to worry about bullets.
> 
> No, wait, he couldn’t taste coffee anymore.
> 
> This was a living nightmare.


	2. You'll never take me alive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but then I got to talking with people in comments and started to get ideas.
> 
> You guys can thank [secret_werewolves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/secret_werewolves/pseuds/secret_werewolves) for being the straw that broke the camel's back! Their comment was just too funny not to make this a thing.
> 
> So now, it's a thing.
> 
> I've got a couple more ideas for this, but no real schedule, so it'll probably be updated at about the same speed as Luck Swap (that is, whenever I feel particularly inspired) or a little bit faster. Kind of depends on what Life is throwing at me in that moment.
> 
> That being said, I know that a lot of you found Zombie chapter 4 to be a really sad chapter and with Zombie ch 6 coming up soon, well... I want you guys to have a happy end to you week. :) 
> 
> That said, please enjoy!

It had been about a week since Hattori first pointed it out, and Shinichi was kind of liking this whole being dead thing.

Oh sure, at first, he wasn’t really excited. He couldn’t drink coffee or eat lemon pie without the food going right through him (literally). Even if he managed hold food in his mouth, he couldn’t taste it, couldn’t feel its warmth or chill. Because of that, a lot of his favorite things lost their luster.

Then he got shot while chasing a criminal.

And _didn’t_ die.

And he realized, this whole ghost thing was actually a perk!

He could chase after any criminal with no regard to his own safety, because they literally _couldn’t touch him_. He could peek his head through ceilings to listen in on plotting and interrogations, with no one the wiser. (So many people just didn’t look up.)

He didn’t need to breathe, so he could search the bottom of rivers and ponds for lost items and dead bodies. He didn’t need to eat, so he had more time to focus on cases (and homework, but mainly cases). He didn’t need to sleep, so he had infinite time on his hands to do whatever he wanted! (Like solve more cases!)

Honestly, that more than made up for the lack of coffee in his life. Sure, he got a little forgetful at times of anything non-case related, but he figured being dead messed with his memories a little. Like now for instance.

Shinichi’s phone rang —a first since shortly after his death.

Apparently all of Shinichi’s friends had switched to text only because Shinichi’s phone had some awful feedback (due to his ghostliness, as he and Hattori had figured out). So whoever was calling hadn’t gotten the memo on his new phone-non-friendliness yet.

The number said TPD —the Tokyo Police Department.

Shinichi wondered, idly, when he’d last talked to them on the phone. Before his death maybe? He had definitely seen them since at crime scenes, but he didn’t think they’d had any calls between them.

“Hello?” Shinichi answered, ignorant of the static that was probably blasting over his end of the line.

What? He was pretty sure he wasn’t allowed to ignore a call from the police. Even if he was just going to text them afterwards.

 _“Shinichi? Is that you?_ ” Megure sounded a bit confused. _“Where are you? It’s hard to hear you over the background noise.”_

Yeah, that would be ghostly interference.

“My phone’s been acting up lately,” he said instead, which wasn’t untrue. “What can I do for you?”

 _“… Right, well, we recently found a Yamada Tarou over in the Ekoda district, not too far from the train station,”_ Megure explained. “ _And, well, we found a wallet with your ID in it?”_

An unidentified body? His wallet? Shinichi thought for a long moment before it clicked. “Oh! So _that’s_ where I left it!”

“ _Where you left it?”_

“Yeah!” Shinichi agreed happily. “I’ve been looking all over for it!”

_“For your wallet?”_

“Well, that and my body.” Shinichi was so glad they found it. Maybe Hattori would get off his back now. “You’re at the station, right? I’ll be right there!”

Shinichi hung up and changed course from his university class, humming tunelessly to himself. This was a good day indeed!

* * * * *

“What did he say?” Takagi asked, concern evident on his face.

Megure tugged his hat lower as he placed the desk phone back into its cradle. “He sounded happy that we found it. Apparently, he’d lost it and had been looking for it.”

Takagi frowned. “His wallet?”

“His wallet… and the body.”

“?!?!” Takagi inhaled sharply.

Megure looked up, eyes dark. “That’s basically a confession.”

Takagi swallowed his shock and bowed his head. To think, it come to this.

Kudou Shinichi, the number one private detective in Japan, the Heisei Homes —now a murderer.

* * * * *

Shinichi was still humming to himself when he entered the police station. He didn’t bother with more than a wave to the receptionist, since he was here so often. He quickly made his way to Megure’s office and gave a polite knock before entering.

“Morning, Megure-ke—!” His greeting was cut off by a pair of handcuffs slapping over his wrists. He blinked and looked down. “Um…”

“Kudou Shinichi, you are under arrest for homicide of a not-yet identified person,” Megure said, steely-eyed. Takagi looked both angry and disappointed as he adjusted the handcuffs on Shinichi’s wrists. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will—!”

“Wait, but…” Shinichi frowned. “I didn’t kill anyone.”

That made Megure pause, but his expression didn’t lighten. “I told you I found your wallet next to a recently found Yamada Tarou. You thanked me for finding it and ‘your’ body.”

“Yeah, my body,” Shinichi said. “As in belonging to me.”

Megure and Takagi just stared.

Shinichi took a moment to replay his words, then realized where the mistake was. “Ah, I forgot. You don’t know yet. I died. That body was the one I used to have… live in? Use? I’m a ghost now.”

Their faces went through a series of amusing changes before settling on blatant disbelief and disappointment.

“Kudou, you can’t lie your way out of this one,” Megure said. “Ghosts don’t exist.”

“You know, I thought the same thing.” Shinichi gave a little shrug and crossed his arms. “But then I died, but kind of didn’t? And I’m not sure what else to call myself, so…”

“You didn’t die,” Megure reiterated. “You’re right here. I’m talking to you.”

“Then how did I get out of those cuffs?” Shinichi jabbed a thumb in Takagi’s direction.

The officer looked down, to the cuffs hanging by the chain from his fist. (He then proceeded to freak out.)

“Sleight of hand!” Megure hissed before Takagi could fully lose his composure. “That magician friend of yours taught you, I imagine.”

“… I’m pretty sure they use fake cuffs, but that is still a good argument. Kaito would learn how to do it, just to say he can.” Shinichi had forgotten that Kaito did things like that.

(The thought of Kaito made a warm feeling bubble up in his chest. He should go see how the other was doing later.)

“I should also note that escaping your cuffs qualifies as resisting arrest and will only add to your prison sentence,” Megure growled.

“I mean… you can go ahead and arrest me if you want, but a prison cell won’t actually hold me. I’ll just walk out,” Shinichi said. “Besides, we would be wasting valuable time with court proceedings and stuff rather than finding my true killer.”

“Kudou…” Megure pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “You aren’t dead.”

“Megure-keibu,” Shinichi began dryly. “I have no feet.”

A pause, then Megure leaned over his desk to observe where Shinichi stood. There were, indeed no feet beneath his pant legs. In fact, his pant legs kind of grew haze and translucent at the ankle before disappearing into thin air.

“Huh…” Megure sat back in his chair. “I had thought my eyesight was going.”

“You know, I thought the same thing when Hattori pointed it out to me.” Shinichi looked down and rocked back on his heels. Well, it was the same motion, even if there wasn’t a visual indication following the move, just an empty space where he hovered roughly three inches above the ground.

Takagi silently freaked out in the corner.

“Hattori pointed it out?”

“Yeah, I was a little preoccupied with other things.” Shinichi nodded.

“Like being dead?” Megure guessed.

“Actually, no. I didn’t realize that until Hattori brought up the whole feet thing.” Shinichi looked back up. “Apparently, I‘d been dead for a while up to that point. I didn’t believe him at first, because _ghosts_ , am I right? But it’s kind of hard to argue with the no-feet thing. And the not being able to eat or sleep thing. Or the intangibility thing.”

“Sounds stressful,” Megure said empathetically.

“Oh, not at all!” Shinichi brightened. “I get so many more cases solved! And I don’t have to worry about suspects killing me ‘cause I’m already dead!”

Megure… chose not to deal with that. Kudou’s friends could deal with that. Megure had something else to handle.

“Well, since you are obviously dead, but still cognizant, this should make it easy.” Megure folded his hands together and placed them on his desk. “What or who killed you?”

“No idea,” Shinichi said cheerfully.

“…I’m sorry?”

“My memory of the event is _really_ hazy.” Shinichi scratched at the back of his neck, utterly perplexed. “Right after it happened, I ended up wandering around for a few hours until I stumbled over a crime scene and kind of… remembered myself, I guess? And then I just went back to my normal routine. I didn’t even remember where I had died until you called me with the body.”

Megure stared at him for a long moment before dropping his head into his hands and letting out a long sigh. “You, Kudou Shinichi, are the _least_ helpful ghost I have ever met.”

“Uh, excuse me? I am the _only_ ghost you have ever met.” Shinichi corrected snootily. “Which makes me both the least and _most_ helpful ghost! Especially since I don’t have to breathe anymore! Do you know how useful that is for searching the bottom of rivers? Or checking areas with poisonous fumes?”

“So, let me get this straight.” Megure heaved a sigh and straightened up. “You woke up beside a dead body —one that wore the same clothes as you and had the _same face as you_ —and you didn’t immediately jump on that case?”

“Like I said, the whole event was fuzzy. I kind of remember there being a body there?” Shinichi mused. “But I also kind of remember thinking ‘ _Weird place for a nap, but I guess everyone’s doing it’_ and then wandering off.”

Megure gave him a very disheartened look. “I’m not sure how I’m even surprised anymore. You’ve gotten into stranger situations before.”

Shinichi blinked. “Stranger than becoming a ghost?”

“Stranger than that.” Megure agreed. “Anyway, since your body is in our custody, we’ll see if we can’t find the cause of death. Unfortunately, it’s been left to the elements for nearly a month now, so things like blood alcohol levels, tissue damage or pulmonary embolism will be hard to detect. I think the best we’ll be able to find is broken bones by this point.”

“Well, just do your best.” Shinichi gave a sad shrug. “I’ll try to keep thinking on what I was doing in… you said it was Ekoda?”

“That’s right.” Megure nodded.

“Right. I’ll try to figure out what I was doing there and potentially who saw me in that area.” Shinichi nodded to himself. “I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

“Please do.” Megure stood from his desk and shook his hand. “And please, Shinichi, for the sake of my blood pressure, don’t pull another stunt like this.”

“Didn’t mean to the first time,” Shinichi grinned sheepishly and ducked his head. “But thanks Megure-keibu! I’ll try my best. Shouldn’t be too hard. After all, I can’t die twice! ”

With that, he left the two offices behind and strolled out of the office. Now that his body had been found, Shinichi had a starting place to track down just who (or what) had murdered him.

Hattori would be thrilled to hear about this!

“… Was it really okay to just let him walk out of here, sir?”

“Like you think I could stop him? He phased through those handcuffs, Takagi. You were standing right there.”

“I was… and you think it’s really his body?”

“I don’t know for sure, but dental records should let us know. And DNA, if we can still find some non-deteriorated samples.”

“Okay… and you really believe him? That he’s actually dead?”

“I mean, have you seen his feet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'll update this from time to time, if I've got a chapter finished. If you guys want to throw some ideas my way too, I'll see what I can work into the plot line I've already got. :)
> 
> Oh! But I do have to wonder. What killed Shinichi? Was it a delayed reaction to Apotoxin? Or perhaps Akako had some accidental magic and Shinichi was in the wrong place at the wrong time (... or the right-place and right-time for some not-so-accidental magic). 
> 
> Who knows? I certainly don't. Not yet anyway.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think the cause of death should be! :D

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to say 'Good Job!' or 'Update Soon!' or 'Longer please!', please leave a Kudo (or a Kaito) below! ;) I appreciate every single one I get!
> 
> If you have some critiques or questions, please leave a comment below. I'm always looking to improve my skills, so any little bit helps.
> 
> If you've got some ideas on where I should take this fic, drop me a line below! :D I can't promise I'll use every idea, but I'll do my best to work with the prompts or fun 'what ifs' you guys leave for me! Let's see what kind of trouble Ghost!Shinichi can really get into, eh? ;)
> 
> (Also, if anyone can come up with a better title, please let me know. It needs to be very punny though. ;) )


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